Sweet Surrender: Transgressions
by darkchakram
Summary: Sequel to Sweet Surrender. Xena is satisfied with the status quo of her and Ares' arrangement but Ares holds out hope that eventually they can have more. But before they can move forward, Xena has to deal with lingering demons. Xena/Ares
1. Running Away

Sweet Surrender: Transgressions

Chapter I: Running Away

The dawn was breaking over the sapphire waters of the Aegean Sea. Out the window, Xena could see the morning sky pinkening on the horizon. Ares still slept. Long sleeps were a rarity for him and Xena let him have the indulgence even though she wanted to pepper wet kisses along the strong cord of his neck. Tiptoeing out of bed, she made her way over to the wardrobe and retrieved a silken black robe. She decided a walk around the island compound was in order. Xena belted the robe, poured herself a cup of water, swigged it down, and grabbed a bronze oil lamp before quietly slipping out of the bedroom.

As she padded barefoot down the corridor leading to the courtyard, Xena realized that she hadn't come down this path since the first night Ares had brought her to the palace. Their time had been spent between the bedroom and the bathhouse grotto. Of course, she'd wanted to take in the rest of the complex but it always felt like they didn't have enough time, like she was always rushing to get back to Gabrielle. This was the first morning that she had the freedom to just explore the place.

The black slate walls of the hallway were adorned with erotic paintings. Xena remembered catching glimpses of them before but her need for him that night, as most nights, had been too pressing to warrant a gallery showing. Now, as she stood looking at the images of her and Ares in the throes of passion, she blushed. Xena had to tilt her head to understand what was happening in one particular panel. Well, who knew that Ares had studied the Kama Sutra? She'd only seen pictures like that in India. Maybe when he woke up they'd try out a position or two, Xena mused.

The flame in the oil lamp danced as Xena continued on down the hallway toward the courtyard. Xena studied the small flicker of light and marveled at how the tiniest speck could illuminate the darkness. It reminded her of the flame that she'd carried within her for years. She wondered what recess of her dark soul had harbored and sheltered the embers of her love. Whatever alcove had secreted it, she solemnly thanked it. Xena had denied her feelings for years, telling herself they were wrong, dangerous even. That he was vile, corrupt, not capable of love. But he did love. Ares loved her, of that she was certain. When Xena reached the central atrium, she no longer needed the oil lamp. She blew the flame out gently and placed on a stone bench that had been carved near the juncture of the main corridor and the soft light of early morning brought the room to life. Rich green ivy wrapped itself around chalk white marble columns reaching toward the cloudless sky that was the room's only ceiling. The crystal clear water in the fountain trickled lazily, singing its eternal song. Xena found herself awed by the beautiful frieze Ares had crafted that told the story of her life. Xena re-read the tale. The sun broke the horizon at the precise moment that her eyes landing on the golden apple. Bright rays brought the fruit to glittering light. Her forever was there, she only had to reach out and take it. One day, she hoped that she would deserve it, but that day was not today. She still had too many sins to pay for. Though she'd walked the path of redemption for years, atonement eluded her yet.

Xena ripped her gaze away from the pull of the apple and splashed cold water from the fountain on her face. Her stomach growling made her wonder if Ares had had the foresight to give the place a kitchen when he was designing it. Xena tried one of the other doors that led away from the courtyard. The long hallway was lined with doors on either side. Xena peeked into the first door, it was a bedroom. Two more rooms turned out to be bedrooms, as well. They were simple and sparsely furnished. It didn't take a genius to know that they were meant to be quarters for servants. The rooms gave Xena hope, if he had considered having staff here, at some point, then there would definitely be a kitchen, and hopefully one with food.

Finally, Xena reached the last doorway, at the very end of the hall. She turned the silver handle and pushed it open. Xena gasped. It was a nursery. A blood red crib was draped with white chiffon. A rocking cradle, the same color, sat next to the crib. In the corner by the fireplace was a rocking chair crafted from the blackest ebony wood that Xena had ever seen. An ebony chest with silver buckles sat at the foot of the crib. Xena lifted the heavy lid. A single blanket was folded in the bottom. On the other end of the room, sat a wardrobe. Xena opened the large door. It was vacant. A lever in the back of the wardrobe caught Xena's eye. She fingered the catch. Suddenly, she felt the floor moving. Xena realized that she was standing on a rotatable panel, as the floor turned. When she came to a stop, she was standing in the castle's true master suite. The differences between it and the suite they'd been fucking in were night and day. The sun poured into the room from six floor-to-ceiling windows, lemony yellow curtains flapped in the seabreeze. Thick bunches of white orchids and golden daffodils grew in planters than sat between the windows. The Elysian fields hadn't smelled as sweet. There was a sitting area with white velvet couches and chairs on golden frames. Fat, plush cushions begged Xena to sink into them. A vanity sat near one of the large west-facing windows, it was delicately carved, painted white and trimmed in solid gold. A huge king sized bed dominated the room. It's massive white oak headboard had a ram's head emblazoned in its center. Xena knew she'd seen too much. Ares hadn't meant to show her this, yet. This was his dream for them. This was how he envisioned forever. Xena wanted to run from the room, from the island, from him. It was all too much, she didn't deserve any of it. Still, she couldn't quit exploring the paradise. She meandered over to the closet. Dresses in blues, purples, golds, and whites filled the space. They were exquisite, she'd only seen such frocks on the likes of Aphrodite. These were for his queen. For her. All she had to do was say the word.

Xena shook her head and walked to the double doors on the south wall that opened out onto a balcony. The view was heart-stopping. The azure Aegean lapped at the black shores of their own private world. This was wrong. How could she even think about living in such finery when there were people starving? People, like Rina and Aleta who had to sell their bodies just to make ends meet? How could she make him understand that her transgressions barred her from ever being able to relax into a life of plenty. Would he ever understand the extent of her monstrosity? No. He couldn't. He was a god. He'd been born to this and better. In her heart, she knew that living here would be a sacrifice to him. He was willing to give up Olympus to live here with her.

Xena had to give him credit. Ares had been trying. He'd built the hospice, the academy, and the retirement home for mariners. It irked her that his actions had been motivated by his desire to win her rather than his need to help humanity. Still, she was glad he was moving in the right direction. The need to see him was suddenly overwhelming. She found the main exit to the master suite and followed the corridor that led away from it. This hallway was decorated with master paintings and bronze statuary. Xena could feed a village for a year with one painting. When she reached the central courtyard, she headed down the hallway that she knew led back to the playroom. Her growling stomach would have to wait. Her soul was hungrier than her gut. She needed to see Ares.

Xena opened the door to find him sitting shirtless at the latrones table maneuvering the pieces around.

When he saw the direction from which she'd come, he looked at her in surprise. "Oh, I assumed you were enjoying a bath."

"Ares."

"Everything okay?" The look on her face scared him. He couldn't place it. It wasn't anger, it wasn't disappointment, it wasn't disgust. It was, what? Regret? Sorrow? What had happened?

"What's going on, Xena?"

"I - I - uh went exploring . . ." She stammered.

He held up his hand to stop her. He knew what she'd seen. His face flushed red. He'd wanted to share those things with her, but not yet. Ares mentally scolded himself for not putting locks on those doors. "Before you start, there's no pressure. I don't expect. Look, this is my dream world, my fantasy. A place I can come and just pretend we are - - you know - normal."

"That's just it, Ares. None of this is normal. Most people don't live like this. I know this is a step down for you but for most this is. . this is heaven."

Ares locked in his eyes on hers. "Is it heaven? Is it heaven for you, Xena?"

Tears spilled from her eyes. "Gods, yes. This is heaven. You, this, a family. Of course this is heaven but Ares. . ."

"You can stop right there," his jaw twitched, "I can fill in the rest, Oh, Ares, I've killed so many, the pain, the suffering. . . yeah, I get it."

"No, you don't or you wouldn't belittle it. Do you know how many innocents?" Xena shook her head.

"Xena, there are no innocents."

"I think we have reached an impasse on that account." She sighed and held her head down.

"So you want me to take you back, is that it? If I can't accept your self-judgement then I can't have you." Ares sat back in his chair forgetting about the latrones pawns.

"I didn't say that." She protested.

"Then what?" He asked.

Xena walked over to the sideboard and grabbed an apricot then joined him at the table.

"Let's just keep things the way they are for now, okay? I am comfortable with this. I can't promise you more. I need to work on forgiving myself."

"Have you forgiven me?"

"Forgiven, yes, Forgotten no."

"What does that mean?" Ares started moving the pawns around again.

"That's not going to work, Not with that mountain range there." Xena pointed at the map. "The enemy could split into smaller forces and attack from here and here. That's assuming your army here is fighting in phalanx formation."

"What if the army you were fighting were Romans?"

"How many cavalry?"

"One unit. Veterans all."

"Archers?" Xena sat down and started shifting the opposing army.

"Yes, three hundred."

"Ouch," Xena grimaced.

"Are you going to answer my question? What does it mean that you haven't forgotten?"

"It means, Ares that as much as I don't hold all the things you've done against me, it is still hard for me to trust that you won't hurt me again. But the hardest thing is knowing that we have diametrically opposed worldviews."

"What, you mean the innocence thing?"

"Yes. Ares, war hurts people and not just the combatants."

"So you don't think war can ever be used for good?"

"I didn't say that. I think that war can be used for the greater good but someone is always going to get hurt and some of those someones will invariably be innocents."

"So, I should hate myself the way that you do."

"I don't hate myself. I don't hate you. I just do my best everyday to minimize the suffering of others. I live to seek justice, to right the wrongs."

"Even if you are not responsible for those wrongs?"

"We all share responsibility for the world we inhabit. If we want to live in a better world then we have to create a better world."

"I see," Ares nodded.

"Do you?"

"I understand the logic behind what you are saying. But. ."

"But you're a god. I don't expect you to get it. And, I am saying that that is okay as long as you respect my choices to fight for the good of others." She wanted to run into his arms and just forget this whole conversation but this was the hard work. If they were ever going to have happily ever after, they had to get through this.

"You're never going to find it, are you?"

"What?"

"Redemption. I'm fighting a losing battle, aren't I?"

"I dont' know. That's not something I can answer. I seek it everyday."

"You feel guilty for being here right now, don't you?"

"Yes,"

"Because you're with me and I am bad?" He asked for clarification.

"No, because Rina's murderer is still out there. He raped and killed her and then dumped her in the toilet, Ares. It doesn't get uglier than that. And I wasn't able to find him."

"What's his name?" Ares sat up in his seat. This was something he could fix.

"Ander."

"What does he look like?"

"I'm not asking you to find him, Ares."

"I gave her the gold that got her killed, not you."

"I told you to." Xena reminded.

"I can't win with you," he shook his head. "What are you doing here?" He pointed to her placement of a troop of soldiers on the latrones map.

"Split your spearmen. Send your javeliners and your bowmen up this ridge. They can rain down on the archers from above while the bulk of your spearers rush in headlong against their cavalry. It's a suicide mission essentially for them but if they can diminish the Roman's numbers and create confusion among the horses, then your main body of men has a chance in hand to hand combat."

"I miss you," he smiled.

"Why because I just sent a group of men to certain death in order to win a battle?"

"Yes, because you always see the bigger picture. Whether those men live or die doesn't matter to the final victory They will have served their purpose and victory will be ensured."

"Those men may not matter to you Ares but they matter to their mothers, their wives, their daughters and sons."

"They will have died an honorable death."

"But they will be dead all the same. Who's gonna help with the harvest? Pay the rent? The men may not be innocents but their families are, Ares. There is no victimless war."

"White flag," he waved his hand back in forth in the air.

Xena smiled. "White flag," she answered and knocked the soldiers down. "Let's do the one thing we can agree on."

Ares grinned but it was for Xena's sake. A part of him knew that she was never going to achieve the redemption she sought. It rankled him that she didn't give herself enough credit for the things she'd done in the name of good. Still, he knew it would be a waste of a beautiful morning to keep beating a dead horse. Ares reached for her hand across the table and urged her over onto his lap. "And what is it we agree on, my sweet Xena?"

Xena leaned in to kiss him. But she came up short as Ares ran his hand up her back and fisted his hand firmly in the hair at the base of her head. "No kisses yet. Uh-huh, you haven't made me an answer. What is it we can agree on?"

"Fucking," Xena whispered.

"Fucking, Sir," Ares reminded with a tug at her hair.

"Fucking, Sir," Xena corrected.

"Mmmm, that's better. I'm assuming we are resuming this little game, unless. . . . unless, of course, you want to go to the other room. It would be different in there. Not just fucking." Ares moved his free hand along her inner thigh, up under the silk robe.

Xena closed her eyes. She could picture them there on the ram's head bed, making love in the soft morning light. Kissing, holding, whispering, promising. She wasn't ready for that yet. Xena pointed to the bed beside them in the playroom with its wrist cuffs and various other ties.

"Fucking it is, then," Ares growled. Ares stood up and took her with him. He walked them to the bed and laid her down on her back. Nimbly, he untied the belt at her waist and peeled back the fabric to either side. Ares slipped the belt out from under her and ran the silk along her smooth belly, across her sex, and down her legs. "Your legs, Xena. So powerful and deadly, but so graceful and beautiful." Ares wrapped the silk around her ankles, securing them fast together. He waved his hand over the binding a golden sparks played across the silk. Xena tested the knot, it was unbreakable, he'd sealed it with his powers. The feeling of being captive thrilled her. Ares turned her body so that she laid crosswise on the end of the bed, facing the headboard. Ares stood at the foot of the bed behind her. "You know the one thing I don't like about your legs?" Ares asked.

"No, sir," Xena answered.

"They are always taking you away from me." Ares walked to the bedside table and picked up a small urn. He tipped it over and golden-green olive oil poured into his palm.

Xena didn't respond. She only watched as he walked around her to take up his position behind her again. With his right hand, Ares pushed her face to look forward. "No peeking."

Xena was surprised at how warm the oil felt as he slicked it between her thighs, coating them generously. She heard the catch on his pants coming loose and knew he had pulled himself from his pants. She ached to reach around and take his cock in her hands. But she knew that would warrant a punishment. "I think I'm going to have to teach these legs of yours a lesson, my sweet." Ares said as Xena felt his head prodding at the space where the flesh of her thighs met. "Tense your muscles, Xena," Ares ordered. Xena did as asked. Ares pushed hard against her clenching thighs. "Just like that baby, keep flexing," he breathed and then he went to town fucking her thighs with the same ferocity that he usually fucked her pussy. Xena looked down and could see his head coming through with every thrust.

"You want it, don't you?"

"Yes," Xena whimpered and reached for him.

"Uh-huh," Ares smacked her ass. "Gotta teach these legs a lesson," his breathing was growing more erratic as he neared orgasm. "Mmmmm"

Xena licked her lips watching his head, in and out, in and out, growing impossibly fatter with every pass. It was a dark plum now and Xena wanted to pop it into her mouth. Ares pushed down hard on her leg pressing her top thigh roughly against her bottom one. "Flex, Xena."

She squeezed as hard as she could.

"Yes," Ares grunted as he forced his cock through her legs one last time, coming all over the front of her legs and the black silk robe that had bunched up beneath her.

Ares held on to her hip to steady himself as he recovered from his orgasm. After a few seconds, He popped one leg playfully. "That'll teach you to run from me." He waved his hand and the silk binding on her feet gave way and slinked onto the floor. Ares crawled onto the bed next to Xena and rolled her onto her back. "Now, I'm gonna have a word with pussy," Ares kissed her on the lips and then smiled as he slid down to make good on his promise.


	2. Balm

Sweet Surrender: Transgressions II

Xena lay on the black sand beach absorbing the warm kiss of the afternoon sun. It was nice to just relax. Honestly, she did too little of that. Taking a deep breath, Xena took a moment to indulge in the peacefulness around her. The salt breeze, the lull of the sea's ancient rhythm crashing onto the sand, and the gentle song of seabirds soothed her soul. For the first time, in a long time, she realized that she felt full. Ares had crafted a hearty fare of roasted chicken with carrots for her noon meal. The food had been complimented by an Etruscan white wine from the collection he'd stocked on the island. Ares had told her that he had plans for later that evening and he didn't want her tired or hungry. But it wasn't only Xena's stomach that felt sated. Every ounce of her being felt alive and satisfied. She knew that it was because she had finally accepted her heart's desires. Sure, she longed for more than the arrangement that she and Ares currently had, but somehow her dreams and her future no longer seemed like two diverging paths in the woods. Maybe one day she could have her apple and eat it too.

Ares had excused himself after lunch to look after a few military campaigns he had going on. Xena hadn't asked for any details and he hadn't offered any. Still, she wondered about their little game of latrones. Had he been soliciting her advice with the toy soldiers so that he could use it in a real field of battle? If so, she had to tell him that that was not acceptable. She was not one of his commanders, anymore. And, they were not going back down that road! Maybe she needed to remind him of that. And maybe, she was just being paranoid. After all, he'd said that the army was working against the Romans. The Romans now swore fealty to him. Perhaps. he was just trying to visualize ways in which a potential enemy could possibly defeat his ruthless Romans. It left a bad taste in her mouth when she considered just how friendly he'd gotten with those cockroaches. Xena rolled over onto her belly, turning her bare bottom to the heavens and decided not to think about Ares' military machinations. She didn't want to be in a sour mood with him. Especially when he'd already promised her an evening of bliss.

The sound of boots sinking into the sand roused her from her slumber. Had she fallen asleep? Instinctively, she reached for her weapon at her hip. Opening her eyes, she recognized the black leather boots at once and relaxed. Fully awake, she noticed that the bright afternoon had given way to the muted light of dusk. How long had she slept?

"By the gods, Xena. How long have you been out here?" Ares moved toward her.

"Not sure, guess I fell asleep," she started to roll onto her back.

"You don't want to do that. Hold still," he ordered as he walked toward an expanse of vegetation that grew near the beach. When he returned, he was holding a long frond of aloe in his hand. "You've burned yourself."

"Oh?" Xena twisted her neck to look at her rear. From what she could see, he was right. Her bum was fairly red, as were the backs of her legs and her lower back. Mercifully her shoulders had been covered by her long hair.

.

"It's not too bad, and this should draw out the sun pretty quickly," Ares squeezed the clear juice from the succulent, into his palm. When he had a nice fat dollop, he began to massage it into her skin. The gelatinous balm felt like Valhalla ice on her searing skin and she jumped. "You okay?" Ares asked.

"Yeah, just colder than I expected."

"I know. Here. I'm gonna do your bottom now." He milked some more of the healing fluid and started rubbing her hot cheeks. "You know, I ought to spank you."

"I didn't mean to fall asleep. And why would you spank me for napping anyway, You told me to try and relax."

"Not for napping. For letting Apollo caress your body. I don't like it when other gods touch what's mine."

"Apollo's not my type, but the sun did feel good on my skin. I should have been more careful, though."

"Yes, you should have. It's going to make tonight's festivities a little more difficult than I had hoped." Ares split open the aloe finger and scraped out the last of the sap and pulp and began applying it to the backs of Xena's long legs.

"I hope I haven't ruined everything."

"No, we'll take some more of this aloe up to the house with us. We will keep applying it. You should be feeling better by midnight. Of course, you could just let me heal you. It's not like this is a battle wound."

"I'll be fine. It's not really that bad and I feel better already. Aloe works wonders."

"Yes, it does," he agreed then offered a hand to help her up.

Ares shook out her beach blanket and then folded it up neatly. Xena looked at him in wonder. He never ceased to surprise her. "So, how did you know about the aloe?"

"I was mortal too, once. If you recall?"

"Oh, I recall," she chuckled. "You got sunburned?"

"Brutally, working on that ridiculous farm of yours." He rolled his eyes, took her hand, and they walked up the stone stairs that led to the sprawling mansion. "But you know, even with sunburns, bug bites, sore muscles, hangovers, and diarrhea, the worst part about being mortal was missing you."

Xena didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. He'd given up his godhood to save her and she'd done her best to make sure he was settled and safe. But after that, she just pretty much went her own way.

When she didn't say anything, he added, "I didn't see you for over a year. It felt almost as bad as when I thought you were dead. The only difference was that I knew you were out there somewhere. It made the loneliness bearable."

Xena gave his hand that was in hers a gentle squeeze. "Would you believe me if I told you I had amnesia for a whole year?"

"Really?"

"It's a long story, you can read Gabrielle's scroll about the ordeal for the details but she was in a coma and I had no recollection of who I was."

"And I wasn't there to help you." Ares looked down shamefully and Xena saw his jaw twitch.

"You had already helped me beyond belief. I wouldn't even have been alive if it hadn't been for you." Ares stopped abruptly and pulled her to him, careful not to touch any burned places, and crushed his lips to hers. "I can't lose you again. I won't. Twenty-five years of torture will be nothing compared to eternity. Don't do this to me, Xena."

"Ares," Xena breathed heavily as she kissed him back. She ran her fingers wildly through his hair. The metal rivets on his vest felt like ice pressed against her breasts. Xena longed to throw off the leather and drag him to the white and gold bedroom and fuck him senseless but she knew that would only give him another temporary fix and what they both needed was to keep their eyes on the horizon. So, she broke the kiss and looked into his eyes. "Ares, no demands. Remember? Status quo. We are going to take things one step at a time."

"I know, sometimes I just panic and I always fear that you're going to come to your senses and tell me to get lost again." He answered honestly. Xena saw the knot in his throat as he worked to control his overwhelming emotions.

"Ares, I am here because I have come to my senses, not the other way around." Xena twined their hands together again and led them over the last step up into the manse's courtyard. "Look, I'm going to be honest with you. Last week, I was contemplating leaving Greece, getting as far away from you as possible. I even considered returning to India or Chin. All of these feelings, sometimes they are too much for me."

"What?" He was thunderstruck. He'd been zapped a few times by his dad and the fear that Xena would leave him again was the only thing that hurt worse than those electric bolts had.

"I was running. Running from this. But I am not anymore. There are things we need to work out, yes. But, I want to face them with you. All I am asking is that you let me do this at my pace."

Ares nodded. He'd give her the time that she needed. There was a time he never thought they would ever be standing together like this again. Part of him felt greedy for asking for more, but another part of him knew that time wasn't the same luxury for her as it was him. But he refrained from mentioning it. "I wanna show you something."

"Another surprise?" Xena smiled.

Ares put aside the blanket he'd been carrying then led her down another stone staircase, this one lay off the northern side of the central courtyard and curved as it curled around the side of the castle. At the bottom of the stairs stood a metal gate with sword shaped handles. Ares extended his hand indicating that she should open the gate. Xena pushed hard, the door was heavier than she had expected.

A flat expanse about fifty square meters stretched about before them. Braziers and torches were evenly spaced around the perimeter. Ares flicked two fingers and they fired to life. On the far end of the field, were targets spaced at varying distances. There were elevated bars, even and uneven. There were pylons, tall and short, unevenly spaced. There were walls and rope nets for climbing. It was a training ground that would be the envy of Chiron's students. "Do you like it? If you ever were to stay her full-time, I just want you to know that you'd have a place to keep yourself sharp."

"This might keep me fit, but there is nothing like an enemy to really keep you sharp."

"Well then, let's see what you're made of," Ares unsheathed his sword.

Xena tucked and rolled. He had her at a complete disadvantage. His was fully dressed and armed. She was nude and had no sword or chakram. Back on her feet, she took another survey of the grounds. Everything was fixed as far as she could see, there was nothing to break off to use as a weapon. There was a small building that she guessed housed arms of some sort but Ares stood between her and the building.

Ares saw the direction of her stare. He knew she'd figure out that the arm's building was stocked. Would she make a dash for it or try to flip over him? Ares could see the moment the decision was made in her eyes. Then she was moving. Swift as hummingbird. She was coming straight toward him. Acrobatics it was. Ares knew she would vault over him just before she reached him. He was watching her feet, waiting for them to plant before the vault. The plant would be his signal to turn and catch her from behind when she landed out of the flip.

Xena knew he would expect her to vault when she charged headlong at him. She kept her pace as even as she could until the last second, the moment he would be expecting her to plant her feet but instead of vaulting over him, She surged toward him with an extra burst of speed and ran up his torso and kicked him in the face. When she flipped and landed on the ground she quickly spun into a roundhouse kick, knocking his blade from his grip.

Ares recovered from the face kick only to find himself staring at the point of his own blade. "Oh you're good," He grinned. "I thought you'd go for the armory."

"And why would I do that when there was a perfectly good sword right here?" She poked him in the chest and was surprised that the tip of the blade drew blood. "Shit, Ares, are you okay?"

Ares had jumped back the instant he felt him push the metal against his flesh. "I'm fine, this is not your standard blade, Xena."

"I wasn't thinking." Xena handed him back his sword and moved into him. She ran her thumb along the little cut. His immortal blood was thick and dark. Xena turned her hand and looked at it in the light of the setting sun. "I could've killed you, you should've told me." A tear rolled down her face and she choked on a sob.

Ares tossed his sword aside and brought her into his arms. "Shhhh, it's okay. I'm alright. Just a tiny cut." Ares ran his hand soothingly along her hair.

Xena felt his hands on her, they were comforting. Losing him was not an option. He'd been in her life as long as she could remember. Even before she knew him as an individual, she knew him as her father's god. As a child she'd prayed to him for her father's safe return. If there had ever been a permanence in her life, Ares had been it. More so than even her mother who had banished her from Amphipolis for a time. Xena knew that this must be how he felt on a daily basis, like the threat of losing her loomed around every turn in the road. She was sorry he had to live with that fear and even though it was selfish, she was glad that she didn't. The need to be with him, to feel him inside her overtook every other emotion.

Ares continued to soothe her, holding her steadfast in his arms while cooing into her hair. But then her mouth was on him. Kissing at the sight of the wound. Lapping at his flesh, her saliva a cleansing balm. Ares knew he should stop her. But part of him wanted her to take her fill. If she drank enough of his blood, she'd ingest enough nectar to turn her, to make her a goddess. But Xena would never forgive him if he allowed her to do it. Ares tore her mouth away from the cut. He looked down at her, her eyes glowed bluer than ever. She'd had a hit of nectar, for sure. Her blood painted lips trembled with need. Ares' body came alive. He lifted her up and Xena wrapped her legs around him. Ares backed her up against one of the training walls. The smooth planks were hard against Xena's back and she was surprised she didn't feel pain from the sunburn. But all she felt was pleasure, pure pleasure as Ares unsheathed himself from his pants and sank into her. "Don't leave me," she whispered.

"Never," Ares panted against her collarbone trying to hold her against the wall as she met his cock thrust for thrust. She was strong. Stronger than she'd ever been. The nectar burned through her blood like fire. Ares watched golden sweat pour out of her skin as they fucked. Towards the end she bucked so hard, she cracked one of the boards in the wall behind her. When she came, she wailed so hard that it scared a flock of rooks from their roosts. When he finished, he kissed her jaw tenderly. Xena collapsed onto him, the nectar had run its course. She was crashing off the high. Ares transported them to the playroom and laid her down gently down in the bed. He noticed, that like the cut on his chest, her sunburn had completely healed.


	3. Perseids

Transgressions: Perseids

Xena sulked as she dropped a handful of lavender buds into her bath water. Ares had declined to join her, saying he had to put some last minute touches on the surprise he had planned for the evening. Their impromptu sparring session had put him behind schedule. Xena had been more impressed by the training ground than she'd let on. Of course, he'd built an arena on the island, she thought, as she scooped up a handful of water and let it cascade down her shoulder. His long-term plan was them to be spending considerably more time on the island than they already were. Xena knew his goal was for her to come to think of the retreat as her personal home. Images of the other bedroom and the nursery flashed through her mind. She shook her head and reminded herself to not look that far ahead. One heartbeat at a time.

Xena considered washing her hair, she'd worked up a sweat tumbling with Ares, by decided against it. She didn't know how soon he'd be returning and she wanted to be ready when he did. So, she pulled her hair tie from her ponytail, and made a new pony higher on her head so that the ends wouldn't drag in the water. Grabbing a sponge from the toiletry tray, she dunked it beneath the surface, drenching it. An array of liquid soaps sat on the wooden tray. She found one that smelled of honey and almond and poured it generously onto the sponge. Once she'd worked up a good lather, she scrubbed herself from head to toe. When she worked the sponge over her rump, she marvelled that the aloe had worked so quickly on her sunburn. She reminded herself to thank Ares when she saw him. After she washed all the places she could reach, she relaxed into the water and just let its warmth work its magic on her overused muscles. Her right side along the lowest rib and into her back smarted badly. She smirked when she considered just how overused she was going to feel when he was finished with her tonight.

When she finished bathing, Xena stepped out onto the stone floor and wrapped herself in the big, fat, plush towel. She'd seen towels like it only in Persia and they sold for several darics. Again, she found herself humbled by the fact that he wanted her when he could have literally anything in the world. Stepping into their playroom, she noticed that he had laid out a full length black linen wrap for her to wear. Beside the wrap was a basket full of aloe. Atop the basket, was a beautiful pink bud from a cactus.

"Lay down on your front," he called as he materialized into the room.

The rush was there as always. Would he never cease to have this effect on her? Xena crawled onto the bed next to the soft linen wrap. She craned her neck around so she could see him. Holy Heaven! He was topless and wearing Arabian pants. The black band fit snugly on his strong hips and the black linen pant legs hung loosely over his toned thighs. She watched as he skillfully worked the juice from the aloe before he slathered it over the backs of her legs.

"The burn is already cleared up," Xena protested.

"So it is. But I want to replenish your cells. You need to hydrate them after all that sun. Especially given where we are going."

"Yeah? I can't wait to see what all the secrecy has been about."

"And, I can't wait to show you." He placed a tender kiss on her bottom. "Sweet goddess, you smell delicious."

"Those oil soaps you put in the bath."

"Ahh, I'm glad you used them. Wish I'd joined you, now."

"Me too,"

"But I had to get things in place. Final touches." Ares moved his hands up her legs, over her ass, and along her back where he saw a purplish bruise ran from her rib cage down her right side. She must have got it from bucking against the wall when he she fucked him like a banshee. The nectar had been flowing through her and she wouldn't have even realized the pain at the time but her mortal flesh was paying for it now. He touched it tenderly. "You're pretty banged up from our little go out in the yard. We can wait another night or two. And don't think I will judge you. I won't think you are weak, Xena."

"Well, I wouldn't think so after the ass whooping I gave you in the arena," her eyes twinkled as she taunted him.

"Point taken," his beard was trimmed enough that she could see his adorable dimples when he smiled deeply. "Here, let me help you into the wrap."

Ares helped her off the bed and begin winding the black linen around her body. She was surprised at how erotic it felt to have him tending to her in such a fashion. She could feel herself quickening already. When he went down on his knees in front of her to pull the wrap between her legs, she nearly came undone. She couldn't resist running her fingers through his hair. "Will you let your hair grow out a little more?"

"What, I thought you liked it trim? My beard too?"

"I like it both ways, but I miss being able to grab a handful of your curls while we are fucking."

"Oh, you naughty, naughty wench."

"You like me naughty."

"Indeed," Ares patted her on the butt when he finished with her garment. "How does that feel?"

"It's not even really uncomfortable. The aloe has done its job."

Ares had meant the silk in general but she'd thought he was referring to the sunburn. He let her think what she would, he wasn't about to tell her that it was his blood that had healed her burns. He was surprised she'd even gotten the bruises from the coupling but then again, she'd only had a small taste of him. It had probably metabolized quickly. "Good, you're gonna be naked most of the night anyway."

"Oh really?" Xena bit at her lip. "Where are you taking me anyway?"

"I told you that's part of the surprise."

"Only part of it?" Xena teased.

"That's right, I have a few delights in store for you tonight. I am going to overwhelm your senses, my dear Xena."

"Your presence does that already." As soon as she said it, a part of her wished she hadn't. Not because he didn't already know the truth of it but because revealing it verbally made her feel more vulnerable than she had expected.

Ares stood in front of her and just looked at her. Didn't she know that she couldn't say things like that! It made him hope that they had a real future. That eventually she'd make all his dreams come true. Ares took her face into his hands. She was the most precious thing he'd ever held. His conundrum. He could have any goddess he wanted with the snap of a finger. Yet, the only woman he really wanted was a stubborn mortal, that kept him at arm's length, at least where her heart was concerned. Contract be damned! "I love you, Xena." He closed his mouth over hers.

Xena kissed him back greedily. She ran her arms up under his arms and allowed them to play along his upper back. "I love you, too," she whispered against his lips.

Suddenly, she was flying through the void. She clutched tighter to him. What would happen if she got lost from him in the aether? Could he find her? Would she be stuck in limbo for eternity?

As quickly as they entered the veil, they came out on the other side. Xena gasped at the vista before her.

They stood in the middle of the vast Sahara. Xena surveyed the horizon. Three hundred and sixty degrees of sand and stars. A small colonnaded building was the only visible structure. A faint light could be seen inside. The moon had already set in the west, creating a sparkling canopy of diamonds overhead. The Milky Way poured over the desert sands. Wild Sahara winds whipped at her wrap and caused Ares' pants to flap loudly. The beating of their garments added percussion to the desert's whistling flutes.

"Oh, Ares," Xena breathed. Her eyes watered both from the sting of the winds and from his gift of bringing her there.

Ares took her hand and let her toward the colonnaded building to their east. He escorted her up the stairs and placed his hand on the small of her back as he ushered her inside. Xena stood between the entry columns, unable to speak. Her silence made him a little unsure of his choice. "Do you like it?"

"Like it? I love it! It's beautiful. This is what you've been doing all night?"

"Yes, but it gets better."

"How?" She asked as she looked at the open-air room. A feather down mattress sat atop a low rise wooden platform. Golden Egyptian cotton sheets and fluffy royal blue pillows covered the bed. A small table with two wine goblets and an amphora of oil sat next to the bed. A tiny chimney sat between the bed and the only other piece of furniture in the room, a sex swing. Xena walked over to the frame and caressed it's sturdy metal legs. She admired the leather seat with silver studs. She picked up one of the stirrups and examined the snaps. Images from the Kama Sutra style paintings outside of the playroom ran through her head. He was going to fuck her senseless!

"You'll see!"

As Xena walked deeper into the space, the song of the desert changed. The low wails of the open Sahara gave way to higher pitched tones as the wind moved through the columns. "Amazing," she cried.

"Look up," Ares leaned in and whispered.

Xena tilted her head back to find that there was no roof. The stars would serve as their blanket tonight.

"It might be be a little cold at first, but I promise to keep you warm. Hold still, I am going to unwrap you, now. Stand near the chimney."

Xena walked to the small furnace. She felt the warmth radiating from its terra cotta surface. She stood perfectly still as he lovingly unwrapped every inch of her skin. Surprisingly the wind on her oversensitized skin felt cool and she didn't notice any abrasiveness from the sands that she imagined were dancing in the air.

"Such a beautiful body, Xena. Standing here amid the glories of the universe and you are still the heavenliest body of all." Ares ran his free hand along her spine as he tossed the wrap onto the bed. "Sit in the swing, Xena, I'll strap you in."

Xena grabbed hold of the straps and lowered herself into the device. "Where did you come up with this?"

"Where do you think?" Ares asked, as he helped her put her feet into the stirrups and strapped the belt across her center.

"Aphrodite?"

"You got it. Except hers was all pink with silver filigree designs. She showed it off an orgy once. All I could think was how badly I'd love to strap you into one. I guess dreams do come true."

"If you're willing to work for them and be patient, then yes, they can come true," Xena caressed his biceps and captured his gaze.

Ares swallowed hard because he knew she was talking about them and their future. He reached down and kissed her. "Comfortable?" he asked when he broke the kiss.

"I like it." Xena grabbed the hand holds that were on either side of her head. "Push me."

Ares gave her a little nudge. Xena closed her eyes as she began swaying in the air.

Ares stood back and watched her. Her legs were splayed out in the stirrups, her hand gripped the handholds tightly. She was marvelously naked and wonderfully beautiful. Xena threw her head back as much as the swing seat would allow. Her long black locks grazed the white marble floor. She laughed in sheer delight. It was a joy to see her so free and unguarded. He wanted her this way, forever. He gave her another little push to keep her momentum going.

When Xena finally opened her eyes, she saw him standing between her spread legs with a look of hunger on his face and a black silk scarf in his hands. "I am going to blindfold you now, Xena."

"Undress for me, first," she requested.

"Very well," he draped the scarf around his shoulders and pushed down the tight waistband and let the pants pool to the floor. Xena's mouth watered as she took in the sight of his gorgeous cock standing free. He walked closer toward her, slowly inching the scarf from his neck. He teased the soft silk down her thighs, he paused briefly at her center and allowed the tassels on one end to tickle her pussy before he dragged the scarf up her body and tied it around her head, cutting off her sight. As he bent over to knot the scarf, his sex pressed against hers. She moaned in anticipation.

Ares reached down and caressed her quim, stroking a finger along her slick folds. "Gods, Xena, you are fucking drenched."

"For you, Ares."

"All for me," he growled and went down between her legs. She was wide open to him and he was going to take every advantage of it. His bare knees hit the marble floor but his godly body didn't register the discomfort. He placed feather light kisses on her inner thighs as he prodded a finger into her opening. "Get my finger nice and wet, Baby," Ares ordered as he plunged it deeper inside her and curled it so that he rubbed her g-spot on her front vaginal wall. As he manipulated her inner nub, Xena could feel herself about to explode, a burst of wetness shot from her well as she squirted onto his finger, nearly filling the palm of his hand with her fluid. With his finger lubricated with her juices, he trailed it from her snatch, down her perineum and inserted the top tip of his finger into her ass. "All of you is mine, Xena, all of you."

He felt her asshole clench but she didn't protest. "You know your safe word."

"A little finger in the ass isn't going to make me use my safe word, Ares. It feels good, it's just been a while. Need a minute to adjust."

As he felt her relax, he pushed his finger in up to the first knuckle.

"Mmm," Xena moaned, "feels nice."

Ares pumped the digit in and out a little, never going deeper than the first knuckle. Once he was satisfied that she was enjoying the sensation, he closed his mouth over her vagina and began french kissing her clit.

"It's almost time, Xena."

"Time for what?"

"You'll see, Baby."

There was more to his little surprise?

"Deeper," Xena begged as he sucked her off and fingered her ass.

Her cunt juices along with his wet kisses were keeping his finger more than wet enough. Ares crammed the finger all the way up to the top knuckle. He felt her ass pulling him in, he knew she was getting very close to coming. Ares looked up to the heavens above. He flicked his tongue back and forth across her clit. "Almost there, almost time," he breathed against her pussy.

He circled her nub with his tongue and sucked it into his mouth. Xena came all over his face. Her back arched against the silver-studded leather swing seat. "That's it baby, it's time," Ares cried as he pulled his finger from her and stood up over her. He grabbed his cock in hand and slicked it along her slit before sliding deep inside her.

"Yes, yes, fuck me," Xena screamed in pure pleasure. She wanted to keep coming. Using the swing, he tilted her hips up at an angle that would allow him to pop her g-spot everytime he thrust inside her. "Yes, Baby, that's it, that's the spot."

Xena felt like she was flying. She felt weightless, her bones were limp from her orgasm and the gentle sway of the swing gave off the impression that she was floating on air.

"It's time, Xena," Ares cried as he pulled the scarf from her eyes. "Look up, Baby."

Xena opened her eyes and the heavens were on fire. A meteor shower raced across the night sky. He'd promised to fill her senses and he had definitely delivered. "Do you feel alive, Xena?" Ares asked as he continued to lead their bodies in their erotic dance.

"Never more alive, never," she wailed as she reached another orgasm.

"This is how you make me feel, Baby. So alive!"

Xena let go of the handholds and reached for him, When she did it changed the angle of the swing seat, the penetration was less deep but the rim of his head rubbed more savagely against her inner button. "Fuck, Ares, fuck, I'm gonna come again."

"Give it to, Baby. I want all of you tonight. You see that meteor shower, Xena?"

"Yes, beautiful, The night is ablaze, oh my god, I am coming again."

"It's more than that," he rasped as his orgasma mounted. "It's you baby, that's what you do, you bring the heavens to Earth." Ares grabbed hold of her hips, forcing her back down onto the seat as he started pumping furiously inside her.

"If I can command heaven, then come for me, Ares. Give me your heavenly seed."

Ares erupted. His essence flowing into her, claiming her and worshipping her at the same time.

When he recovered his senses, he unharnessed her and carried her gently to the downy soft mattress where they fell into a dreamless slumber beneath the streaking sky.


	4. Inevitable

Transgressions IV

Xena's eyes fluttered open, she could see dawn breaking over the desert through the massive Ionic columns. She felt Ares' warmth spooned up against her, his arm draped over her middle, his morning erection nestled against her bottom. Xena considered grinding against him but decided to let him sleep instead. She turned softly and studied his face in peaceful, sated, slumber. Such a beautiful man. Going back to the real world was going to be hard. A small voice in the pit of her soul whispered, "this is the real world."

Xena quietly crept out of bed. She needed to clear her head. She poured herself a goblet of wine and walked out onto the east-facing steps to watch the sunrise. As she surveyed the horizon she could just make out the pointed tip of a pyramid. She wondered if they were near Giza. Xena recalled the first time she'd stood in the shadows of the stone behemoths. Awe-inspiring and ancient, they were older than anyone living, well not anyone, she supposed, as she chanced a glance back at her sleeping god.

Ares had apparently just become aware of her absence. He smoothed his hand across the sheets, looking for her. When he didn't find her with his hand, his eyes popped open and he scanned the room. He found her gloriously naked. Standing up, he pulled on his black linen pants and joined her on the steps.

"Morning," he leaned over and kissed her on the top of the head as he sat down.

"Morning to you," she leaned into him and handed him her goblet.

He took a swig of the red wine and sat the chalice down on the marble step beside him. "Why are you sitting out here?"

"Just came out here to enjoy the view." How did she tell him that she came out here to get away from him? She couldn't think when his presence was clouding her judgement.

"It is quite spectacular."

"You are quite spectacular. Ares, this was just beautiful. Thank you." She snaked her arm around him. "Is that Giza?"

"Yeah, you can just see the top of the Great Pyramid but if you want we can go visit the others."

"Nah, I need to catch up with Gabrielle."

"Ahhh, I see. Our time up so soon?"

"It's just that she'll worry. I bet her mind has gone crazy with her fears of what you might have done to me."

Ares' low laughter sent shivers of delight through her core. "Alright, I'll take you back to Blondie, later today. But I want to spend some time with you back at the island first. Do you find that agreeable?"

"Yes, Sir," Xena looked up at his perfect lips. She wanted them on her right now. She pressed her mouth against his and begged, "but first, I want you here again."

Ares didn't have to be asked twice. He picked her up and carried her to the bed. "Uh, huh, not here," Xena responded. "There," her eyes begged as she pointed to the leather swing.

"Oh, I see," Ares grinned, "you like the little toy. You want me to bring it back to the island?"

"Please and thank you," Xena purred.

"Fine, but let's try something a little different this time, okay?"

"I'm at your service, My Lord," Xena curtsied before walking over to the swing.

"Lay on your stomach in the seat, hold the handholds forward, out in front of you." Ares held the swing still while Xena situated herself as he had ordered.

"Okay," she called when she felt secure.

Ares dropped his pants and kicked them aside. He ran his hand along Xena's slick opening, to wet it. He used her juices to lube up his cock before he poised at her entrance. "Give me those delicious legs, Xena."

Xena bent her knees and Ares situated her feet so that the tops of them lay flat on the stirrups. "Comfortable?"

"Very," she moaned as she tried to press toward him.

"Oh, no you don't. I set the pace," he warned as he tapped his cock onto her ass. "Don't make me spank you, you're in such a good position for it."

"Oooooh," Xena cried.

Ares stroked his cock again before pushing into her. He took hold of her hips and began pulling her agonizingly slowly on and off of his rigid cock. "You like that?"

"Mmmmm."

"Take your feet from the stirrups Xena, curl them around by lower back." Xena did as instructed.

"Now let go of the handholds and put your hands on the floor."

Xena placed her palms flat on the floor. She felt Ares let go of her hips as he grabbed the swing's straps. When he thrust deeper into her she thought she was going to explode. The new position forced him deeper into her. Oh yeah! That was the spot. He continued his slow pace for a few more pulses in and out but she could feel his cock swelling even more. She knew he was close too!

"Here we go," he cried as he grabbed her hips."Come on, Xena, give it to me, Baby. Come for me, Come for me," He panted.

Xena couldn't have refused to obey even if she wanted to. His cock bottomed out against her with every thrust forward. At this angle, she could feel his heavy balls slapping against her clit as he speared her. The rhythm was maddening. "I'm yours, Ares, yours, take me, Baby, Fuck me, Oh, Baby, gonna, gonna, Oh. My. God. I'm coming oh so goooooood, Oh Fuuuuck!" Xena rambled as she came in rolling spasms.

"Oh, Xeeeeena," he roared as he emptied himself inside her.

As he helped Xena out of the contraption. Ares found it difficult to look at her. He wondered just how long before this fantasy shattered.

For her part, Xena was an emotional mess. She needed him to hold her, to love her. Intense lovemaking often left her a blubbering mess. Whenever she was able to fully give herself to a lover, it left her feeling open and vulnerable. She turned and saw the pained look on his face. Was something wrong? Had she done something, said something to upset him?

"Ares, we okay?"

He shook his dark thoughts off and tried a smile. It didn't reach his eyes. "We're fine. You ready to go back?"

The abruptness of his question caught her off guard. What in the name of Olympus was wrong with him?

"No, I'm not ready. Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"It's inevitable, isn't it?" He shrugged as he found his pants.

"Why are you doing this?" She was already a blathering mess on the inside. She didn't even try to stop the tears as they spilled down her face.

"Me? What am I doing, Xena? I'm not the one always running away. Why the fuck are you crying? You're not the one getting left in the cold!"

"Fuck you. Don't pretend to know how I feel." She'd wanted him to hold her, feel his warm, protective embrace around her while she let those emotions run unchecked over her. She needed to feel them. They were as much a part of the sex as was the penetration, the kisses and, the orgasm. They represented the shuddering of her soul, a different kind of orgasm, she had wanted to share that with him. But now, he was being a colossal dick! She didn't want him touching her. "You're so fucking insensitive, sometimes, Just take me to Gabrielle!"

"No!" He refused.

"What?"

"You heard me. Maybe I'm not finished fucking you."

"Don't do this. Don't ruin this, Ares. It has been so beautiful. I've loved everything about you, about this place."

"But it's not enough is it? Not enough to keep you from running back to Blondie? Does she fuck you better? Is that it?"

"Shut up!"

"You do fuck her, don't you?" He demanded an answer.

"I have, yes, but not since. Not since we started this." The honesty was evident in her eyes.

"Can you say the same?"

"I've never fucked Gabrielle."

"You know good and damned well that that's not what I meant. How many women have you been with?"

"Millions."

"I don't mean in your life. I mean over the last couple of months. How many?"

"Just two."

"Well, don't you deserve a reward!" Xena spat.

"You didn't say anything about exclusivity, Xena. You told me it was just sex, pure and simple."

"When?"

"Why?"

"I need to know," she screamed. The tears wouldn't stop now, Xena batted them away, furious.

"Fine. The first couple of weeks. I didn't do it after I created our mansion on the island. That's when I first hoped that this thing might last longer than I had anticipated. To be honest, after that first time, I doubted you would ever see me again. I was sure you burned the contract as soon as you read it. I certainly never expected this."

"Who? Who were they?"

"Don't Xena. It won't help."

"Who Ares?"

"The usual."

"Priestesses."

"One of them, yes."

"The other?"

"A girl offered to me as a tribute," the defeat was evident in his voice. "One of my warriors took her as a conquest in battle. She was a virgin. He offered me the honor."

"And when you were finished with her?"

"I gave her back to him, of course. It's not like I kept her."

"No, that would have been more humane."

"What are you talking about?"

"You'll never get it. Just forget it. Take me back."

"I told you. I don't take orders. You are mine. I'll take you back when I damned well please."

"Swan," she stared at him in bold defiance until suddenly she wasn't staring at him anymore.

Xena blinked a couple of times and shook her head because she was sure she was having a stroke. She was completely disoriented.

"Xena," she heard Gabrielle call.

Xena looked down at herself. She was in full battle armor. Her chakram at her hip. She turned to see the bard and Aleta sitting by their breakfast fire.

"You're back," Gabrielle cried as she jumped up and ran into Xena's arms.

Xena couldn't hold back the emotions anymore. They washed over the dam before the whole thing came undone in Gabrielle's arms. "Oh, Gabrielle," she wailed as she fell to her knees.

"By the gods, Xena. What did he do to you?" Gabrielle grabbed a blanket, wrapped it around Xena and pulled her into her arms and let her cry it all away.

A small voice inside Xena's soul keened, "this is the real world."


	5. The Rift

Transgressions V

Ares materialized himself halfway across the globe. With a thought he'd transported Xena back to Gabrielle. And now, he had to get away. The woman was driving him insane! What did she want from him? Maybe they were just doomed to be forever at odds. When he emerged from the aether, Ares found himself inside a canyon so deep the shadows ran hundreds of meters up each side. Near the top, he could see the striated walls painted in varying shades of red and brown.. He came here sometimes to vent. Ares let loose one giant fireball. It soared down the canyon until it collided with a curve in the rock wall. The boom echoed back at him and sent a hawk squawking from its perch on the craggy ledge. So, Xena was pissed because he had bedded some insignificant village girl, was that it? Xena had to know that the girl had meant nothing to him. And just what had Xena meant when she'd said that it would have been more humane for him to have kept the girl? Did she want him keeping every slave that his men took hostage now? As a former warlord herself, she had to know that that just wasn't feasible! And, why would she want him to keep them? Where was the profit in that? Oh, yeah, how could he forget? Xena wasn't profit motivated, anymore.

Was it wrong to take war captives? Wrong to fuck them? The girl hadn't protested. But, now that he thought about it, the girl hadn't been that turned on, either. Could she have been in shock? No, he was the God of War! Of course, she was honored to have a god as her first lover. Wasn't she? Ares sent another ball of flame flying through the canyon. This one skimmed across the rock, scoring a black line along its surface. Damn Xena! Why did she make him question his entire worldview? Gods, but that woman was challenging! He rolled his eyes as he wondered how many hospitals he'd have to build to make up for sleeping with the girl.

AXAXAXAXAXAXAXAX

Xena dried her eyes with the corner of the blanket Gabrielle had wrapped around her. No more tears, it wasn't worth it. She was incensed that she'd let herself fall apart. In front of him, no less. And now, Gabrielle was worrying over her like she had the plague, offering her a drink, another blanket, a bite to eat. The only thing she needed, Gabrielle couldn't offer her! Ares was so ridiculously clueless sometimes! Why didn't he see that all she had needed, had wanted was for him to hold her while she let her emotional release run freely through her. Why was it so hard for him to be in the moment with her? Why was he so preoccupied with his fear that she was going to leave him? Worse than all of that, was his continued inability to empathize with mortals. He, like the other gods, treated mortals like they were playthings. This wasn't exactly news to Xena. She'd known Ares to fuck war captives before, she knew it wasn't beneath him. But she had dared to hope that the year he'd spent as a mortal would have taught him to treat people better. Now, she feared he would always see mortals as pieces in a latrones game.

Xena thought about the twisted games they'd played over the years. How many innocents had he hurt in the name of trying to win her back. How many villages had been razed? How many soldiers died needlessly? And nothing was ever straight-forward with him. There was always an angle. Had she let herself get in too deep that she couldn't see his ulterior motive now. Would he really have agreed to indulge her BDSM fantasy, if he stood to gain nothing in the end? Xena thought back to the Latrones game they had played on the island. Something about it wasn't sitting right with her. It didn't make sense that he'd want to strategize against the Romans when he was leading them. Unless, he was playing both sides against each other again to maximize his worshippers. The way he had with the Romans and the Amazons, The Thessalians and the Mitoans. Conniving Bastard!

"I'm fine, Gabrielle," Xena swatted at the bard to make her stop fussing over her.

"Really, Xena? I'm just trying to help."

"I know, it's fine. I'm fine." Xena softened and faked a smile to reassure Gabrielle.

"You didn't look fine. You looked positiv. . ."

"I know how it must've looked but I'm okay now." Xena wiped one last tear that lingered on her cheek. "I just wanna forget about it, okay? Can we do that?"

"Sure," Gabrielle threw her hands up in frustration. "Whatever you want, Xena."

Aleta who hadn't said a word since Xena's abrupt arrival finally spoke up, trying to eas the awkward tension that thickened the air. "Welcome back, it's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too, Aleta" Xena nodded then looked back to Gabrielle who was fixing her a plate of the leftover breakfast food. "Where are we, anyway?"

"Southern Euboea. We think we may have a solid lead on Ander's whereabouts."

"What?" Xena asked. This was a dangerous undertaking. How could Gabrielle put herself at such risk? Not to mention such a young girl? "And what were you going to do when you found him?"

"Well the plan was to solicit a confession and take him back to stand trial," Gabrielle answered matter-of-factly. Xena looked back to Aleta, The girl had looked down and now pretended to study her boot. Xena knew that look, that posture. Aleta had no intention of seeing her stepfather stand trial. She had her own kind of justice in mind.

"I see," Xena murmured and took the plate of cold quail eggs, dried meat, and day-old bread from the bard.

The trio sat quietly while Xena finished her breakfast. Gabrielle had a million questions. Xena could feel them radiating out her friend's pores. She was sure as soon as they found themselves out of the girl's range of hearing that the bard would unleash a barrage of queries.

"Really really delicious." Xena scooped the last bite up with her greasy fingers.

"You should have had those eggs when they were warm," Gabrielle smirked.

"I bet. I'll wash the dishes while you two pack up camp," Xena said as she stood and started walking toward where she thought she heard a rippling brook.

"I'll get the dishes," Aleta interjected and began picking up the remaining plates and pans.

Xena gave an irritated smile. The last thing she wanted was to be alone with Gabrielle. But to her surprise, the bard continued packing up camp in relative silence. Other than a few off hand comments about the weather or a remark about their dwindling supplies, Gabrielle didn't have much in the way to say. The tension finally got to Xena. "Gabrielle, I really don't want an inventory of how much salt and soap we have left. Look, I am at a loss. I don't know what to do about him."

"Okay, so now you wanna talk about it?" Gabrielle was exasperated.

"No." Xena closed the flap on her saddlebag. "Yes. I don't know."

"You want to tell me what brought you to such tears. I've seen you upset like that only a few times Xena. What happened?" Gabrielle sighed.

"That's just it. I don't know what happened. I mean we were having a beautiful morning. Sitting in the middle of the Sahara just enjoying each other's company. Then had great, mind-blowing sex, and when I wanted him to hold me, he started being an ass, asking me if I was ready to ditch him. Basically. I just wanted to hold him, to be close to him and he pushed me away. Then we had an argument and I used my safe word. Next thing I know, pow, I'm here. No Ares, no Sahara."

"The Sahara, as in Egypt?" Gabrielle clarified.

"Yes."

"Wow, he really goes for the exotic, huh?"

"You have no idea," Xena's eyes rolled back into her head at the exotic, erotic memories.

"Okay, so what's troubling you the most, the argument?"

"Maybe. I don't know. It pissed me off that all I wanted was to feel his arms around me and he started in about me and you. It's like he can't just relax and trust that I want to be with him. He thinks that I am in a hurry to get back to you. He's jealous of you."

"Did you tell him you wanted to come back?"

"Well, I might have mentioned that I needed to check in with you so that you wouldn't worry."

"I wasn't worried. You said he wouldn't hurt you. I trusted that." Gabrielle rolled up the last of the blankets.

"Well, I thought you were worried."

"Did you want me to be worried?" Gabrielle asked. "Were you looking for an excuse to leave?"

"By the gods, you're as bad as him!"

"You didn't answer the question." Gabrielle charged.

"I don't know. Maybe. Maybe I use you as an excuse, as a crutch when I need space." Xena scratched her head. "I don't know."

Gabrielle could see the tears of frustration mounting again. By the gods, Xena was head over heels in love with him and she couldn't even just let herself go. "You know, I bet he is somewhere kicking his own ass right now, too."

"I hope so."

"You're mad at him about something else, give it up, what is it?" Gabrielle knew her well.

"He's a god." Xena whispered in defeat.

"Um, yeah! You're gonna have to give me more than that."

"He's never going to respect mortals. He just doesn't know how. Let alone love them."

"You want Ares to love mortals? Xena that's not who he is."

"He loves me." Xena untied the horses reins from the tree.

"So you think that he should love humanity by extension?"

"Yeah, maybe."

"Xena, you're hardly mortal."

"Great! now really you sound like him." Xena kissed Argo on her nose. She'd missed the mare's quiet companionship. Maybe she should just saddle up and ride away from all of them.

"I'm just saying that you are nearly invincible, you fight like a goddess, and your beauty rivals that of Aphrodite. He will never concieve of you as a mortal. In his mind, Xena, you are a goddess, you are his goddess. Misguided maybe, but that's what his mind's eye sees when he looks at you."

Xena couldn't argue with her friend, she knew everything she was saying was the truth, plain, simple, and ugly. Ares was never going to learn to love the human race. He was always going to see mortals as beneath him. Insignificant creatures to be used and discarded at will. "Gabrielle, I need to ride. I'll double back and catch up with you guys later."

"Okay," Gabrielle called. She wanted to tell Xena that she could ride to Tartarus and back but nothing was going to make her feel better until she talked to Ares. But the Warrior Princess was mounted and galloping away before she could even form the sentence.

AXAXAXAXAXAXAXAX

The wind rushed through Xena's hair. The mare felt strong and powerful beneath her. Sometimes she thought that Argo was the only one who ever fully understood her. The horse picked up on Xena's most nuanced moves. The slight clenching of Xena's thighs would slow the horse down. The subtle shift of Xena's body could indicate which way the mare should turn before Xena even jerked the reins. It took a good five miles to clear her head but when clairity came, Xena realized that she was just as much at fault for their argument as was Ares. If she'd been able to communicate her needs more clearly then maybe he wouldn't have feared that she was ready to run off on him. Still, now that the argument had happened and she had started questioning his motives. She had to deal with the fact that he used and discarded mortals at will. She knew it was a consequence of being a god. In their minds, mortals were made to worship them, be used by them. That reality was part of the reason she had resisted joining their ranks. She didn't want to become a deity that saw the human race as pawns on a game board. She feared that after centuries of seeing them come and go like flies that it would become difficult for her to relate to mortals. She couldn't afford to let that happen. She'd lost empathy once, and nearly lost herself to the maddening darkness that had raged through her soul. She feared most of all that if she became a goddess, she would be like him: cunning, manipulative, cruel, deceitful, and power-hungry. She couldn't see herself as a benevolent goddess like Hestia or Demeter. Her fire burned too hot for that. Her edge was too sharp. No, Xena the Destroyer of Nations would rear her ugly head if Xena ever held that kind of power again. It was best if she quit thinking about that damned apple. Gabrielle had been right to stop her from biting the golden apple at Valhalla. Ares was a bastard to keep tempting her with it.

Argo slowed down grabbing Xena's attention. She hadn't prompted the mare to stop. Xena looked straight ahead and saw the reason for the horse's gait. Ares stood in the center of the road about fifty meters in front of them. He had changed into in his dark leathers with the silver studs. His arms were crossed over his chest in a posture that said you're not getting past me.

Well, Xena supposed, now was as good a time as any. She needed to get this over with, once and for all. For flourish, she vaulted off of Argo, forward flipping, and landed flat on her feet directly in front of him. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he had worked off some of his fury. They'd been burning bright during her argument. Rage had flitted across them before he had dismissed her without a word. Now, his irises were calm and sad. He sighed, "Xena, whatever happened this morning. I'm sorry."

His apology caught her off guard. She hadn't been expecting that. She found herself speechless.

"I'll do whatever you want me to do to make up for it. You want me to build another hospice, another academy. Cause I will, Xena. I will do whatever it takes."

Xena closed her eyes and shook her head. "I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do, Ares. I just wish your instincts were to do those things out of the kindness of your heart rather than as a balm to fix us."

Ares licked his lips and looked heavenward. She wanted him to be someone he wasn't. She wanted him to think like Gabrielle. Like his brother.

"Ares," her voice was heavy.

He knew this was it. The final break up that had been coming for weeks. "How often do you fight it, Xena?"

"Fight what?"

"The warring instinct? How often do you find yourself working against who your soul knows you to be?"

She wasn't sure if she hated him more for asking the question or for knowing the answer to it.

"That's the point, Ares. I fight it. You don't. You think you can just smooth it over for my sake. Sterilize it. You know the day is going to come when building a hospice isn't going to fix things, don't you?"

"What are you saying?" If she was leaving him. He was going to make her spell it out.

"I am saying that we have diametrically opposed worldviews and eventually, you are going to do something so heinous that I won't be about to look the other way."

She'd already seen the worst of him. So he wasn't exactly sure what she meant. But then he remembered that she'd been upset about him fucking the village girl. "Is this about about me sticking my dick in a tribute?"

"The fact that you are not sure, is the whole problem."

"Xena, she was a war captive. What do you think happens to war captives?"

"Oh, I know full-well what happens to them, Ares. I've seen my own men do it."

"So, what's the problem?"

"The problem is that you don't see that it is wrong."

"I was gentle with her, Xena. It wasn't barbaric. I didn't ravish her! I've treated you more roughly and I love you." He moved toward Xena.

Xena pulled back. "It's not about how you rape her, it's that you raped her at all."

"But I didn't, Xena. She never protested."

"Would you give your attacker the satisfaction of a struggle? The thrill of the conquest? I wouldn't."

"No, you'd kill a son-of-a-bitch that tried to rape you." Ares smiled.

"Yes, but she was a simple villager, an innocent girl."

"With that again! The only thing innocent about her was the fact that her hymen was still intact. Xena do you really think that she'd never harmed anyone in her sixteen years. I am sure there are people that would have gloried in seeing her get such treatment. That's the way you humans are. You want to complain about the gods being petty and cruel. Well, who in Gaia's name do you think we learned it from? Heinous? You think I am heinous? You should see some of the prayer requests I get! If you could hear the benedictions of mortals, Xena, you wouldn't think so highly of them!"

"Maybe that's what I fear, Ares. I don't want to hold humanity in the contempt that you do. I can never be your goddess. It was a beautiful fantasy but it was just that. When I walked through the hall of the mansion, I could see it, you and me, a family, an oasis of dreams. But we couldn't remain isolated on the island like that forever. You are the God of War, you can't just abandon that post and if I became a goddess I'd have duties to attend to as well. No man is an island, Ares. I wouldn't want my children growing up secluded away from mortals. We just live in different worlds."

The resignation in her voice told him all he needed to know. It was over. The game was over. It was done. She was done with him. Well, fuck it! She could have her pathetic mortals! Ares had to leave. He was going to cry and he wasn't about to let her see that! "Well, Xena, enjoy your brief existence! You could've had it all. All the wonders of the world." He moved through her as he left, his spears of light pierced through her like a meteor shower burning up the Earth's atmosphere.


	6. In Cold Blood

Transgressions VI: In Cold Blood

Xena, Gabrielle, and Aleta were camped just outside of the town of Styra. The city wasn't a sprawling metropolis like Athens, it didn't even compare in size to Thebes or Corinth, but the place was growing from its humble start as a simple fishing village on Euboea's western coast. When Xena had been jaunting off to Egypt with Ares, Gabrielle and Aleta had heard from travelers about a man who'd shown up in Styra spending money like King Midas on a holiday. Convinced that the man flaunting his gold was none other than Ander, Gabrielle and Aleta had set out at once. When Xena rejoined the women, she started running point on the mission to find the murderer and bring him to justice. The plan was simple. Go into town, get Ander, turn him over to the local authorities, or haul his ass back to Kamena herself. Still, Xena needed Aleta to make a positive identification.

They'd decided the best plan was to disguise his step-daughter so that Ander didn't catch a glimpse of her and bolt before Xena got her hands on him. Gabrielle pushed a wayward tuft of hair up under the headscarf she'd fitted onto Aleta's head. "How does she look?" Gabrielle asked as she stood back to take in her handiwork.

"Perfect, now let's get going." Xena answered without really looking, anxious to have the whole ordeal over with. Her mind was still plagued with questions about what she was going to do about Ares, her heart brimmed with anguish. Xena sighed, she couldn't afford to think about him right now. The warrior tamped down her thoughts and took a deep breath to quell the churning in her stomach. She'd deal with him later, she promised herself, then checked to make sure all of her weapons were in place. Satisfied, Xena turned to the other two women and managed a smile, "Let's do this."

Thirty minutes later, the ladies were milling about a casino where it was rumored that a manfitting Ander's description was blowing a lot of coin rolling bones. A percussion band thumped an erotic Persian beat. Scantily clad lute girls swayed their hips as they plucked their accompanying notes. The air was thick with smoke from the Arabian hookahs that were being shared in various darkened corners. Otherwise, the joint was surprisingly well lit. The drinks were watered down, Xena noticed, as she grabbed a complementary goblet of wine from a serving tray. She swigged it down quickly and placed the empty vessel on the next tray that passed by.

"Oooh look, they're showing the Labors of Hercules," Gabrielle cooed as they passed the placard for the casino's indoor theater.

"We're not here for the entertainment, Gabrielle." Xena rolled her eyes and pulled the bard away from the box office. The last thing Xena wanted was to be dragged to see a show about Ares' most despised brother. She was trying to get the god out of her mind, not sit through a showing of his family drama.

"I know, I know." Sometimes Xena just zapped the life out of everything, Gabrielle thought, as she allowed herself to be ushered away.

Boisterous laughter rang out over the music, catching their attention. An unkempt man of average size stood throwing dice at the head of a gaming table. The people around him roared heartily at his most recent comment.

"That's him, that's Ander." Aleta confirmed. Xena had to put a hand on the girl's forearm to stop her from charging at the man who had killed her only sister.

Xena studied Ander for a minute. He appeared to be enjoying his new found attention. There was nothing remarkable about the man. Xena guessed he'd probably spent most of his life ignored, a nobody. It angered her that he was frivolously throwing away the money that he'd killed Rina to get his grimy hands on. Xena had to fight the urge to pull her sword and lop his head off where he stood. It was men like Ander that gave validity to Ares' low opinion of humanity. Xena closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting the dark feeling of violence rush over her and out of her. When she opened her eyes, she'd calmed down.

"Gabrielle, take Aleta back to camp. I am going to talk to the local authorities and see if they'd be willing to assist. It looks like he's surmounted quite a fanbase here and I don't want to cause a scene in the casino. If I can get the local magistrates to escort him back to Kamena, that'll be for the best. If not, I am gonna ask them to keep him in custody until we can secure passage. I don't really want to haul his ass overland but if it comes to that, I will." Xena was afraid if they had to travel with him for too many nights that Aleta would find a way to kill him before they ever made it back to Kamena. She'd seen the murderous look in the girl's eyes when she pointed him out to her. Xena had felt the same about Cortese, the man who'd laid waste to her village and killed her brother, for years. Xena feared that murdering Ander would set the girl on a similar dark path to the one she'd walked. Once you crossed that line, there was no going back.

The warrior watched as Gabrielle led the girl out of the gaming room toward the casino exit. Then, Xena slinked back into the shadows. She had every intention of going to the authorities as she'd told Gabrielle. But she wanted to study Ander a little longer, memorize his body movements, just in case she found herself having to drag him all the way back to Kamena.

He won another round, his fellow gamblers offered him congratulatory pats on the back. Xena laughed wryly at Fate. She found it hard to believe in karma when this murderous son-of-a-bacchae was winning so handsomely with money he hadn't even earned. She wasn't sure if it was the injustice of it all or her desire to run him through that sickened her more, but she felt a wave of nausea pushing bile up into her throat.

The nausea worsened when she felt a familiar tingle electrifying her spine. She couldn't do him right now! He had to go! Maybe if she ignored him, he'd stay hidden in the aether, spy on her a bit, and then just go away. She kept her eyes fixed on Ander. Ridiculous! The bastard won again. He raked in more chips and added them to his impossibly huge stack. Xena smiled wickedly when she realized just how much she was about to change his luck.

"What pleases you so devilishly, my dear?" Ares asked, hoping that the graceful curve of her lips and the dark look that passed across her eyes were indicators that she was pleased to see him.

Shit! Her body had betrayed her again. She hadn't even realized she'd been grinning over her thoughts of bringing Ander to justice. But she had, and now Ares thought she'd been smiling because he had showed up. "Not you, it that's what you're thinking. Look, I'm kinda busy here, I don't have time to fight with you."

Ares licked his lips. "Ok, so still mad at me."

Xena whipped her neck around. "What part of I am busy did you not pick up on?"

"I shouldn't have said what I said the other day." He apologized without really apologizing. Typical Ares.

"Ares, please, not right now." Xena glanced back at the gaming table. Ander was raking in his winnings, preparing to leave the table. She couldn't afford to lose sight of him. "I'm working."

"Working?" Ares looked across the casino, following her eye line. What could that insignificant mortal possible have done to upset Xena? Then it hit him. She had caught a lead on the man who had killed that tavern whore. "I see, he's the one?"

Xena sighed at Ares' description of Rina as a tavern whore but couldn't waste the energy dealing with that at that moment. "Yes, now, if you'll excuse me," Xena followed Ander as he headed toward the cash cage.

Xena felt Ares disappear into the aether. Her soul shuddered and her stomach lurched again.

When Ander exchanged his chips for coins, he'd had a decidedly profitable payday. Instead of the one bag of gold, he now had four purses dangling from his belt. Xena also noted the dagger that he had resting on his hip, as well. She wondered if that was his only weapon.

Xena was surprised when Ander stepped out onto the streets. She assumed the casino would have provided him room and board, considering the amount of coin he was playing with. Plus, it was just stupid to walk down the street with that much gold. She didn't care if it was in the light of day. When he turned down a back alley, Xena was sure that he'd made her. She held back and edged against the corner of the building. Craning her neck around, she peeked down the alleyway and saw him whip out his pecker and take a piss. That's why he'd stepped off the beaten path, she thought, and rolled her eyes.

Xena felt the atmosphere crackling again. She quickly searched for Ares. Why couldn't he get a clue? She didn't have time to deal with Ander and him. She scanned her immediate vicinity. She didn't find him. Was he still hiding in the void? She couldn't afford to worry over him right now. Keeping Ander's trail was more important. Xena looked back down the alley. To her astonishment, Ares had Ander in a death grip. Ares' right hand was clenched like a vise around Ander's throat. The murderer's feet kicked a full foot of the ground. The god laughed mercilessly at the man's useless struggling. Xena wanted to scream out for Ares to stop. She knew it was murder. She knew it was wrong. But even though it was murder, somehow, it felt like justice. Xena watched as Ander's legs stopped kicking and with a last fateful twitch he fell limp in Ares' powerful hand. The same hand that had soothed her burned skin, the same hand that had gently caressed her pussy to orgasam. A hand as deft in violence as it was in love. Ares looked down the alleyway toward Xena and mouthed, "you're welcome". He dropped the corpse coldly into his own piss and disappeared into thin air.

Xena just shook her head. At a loss. Why hadn't she stopped him? He had murdered a man in cold blood and she'd just watched. And how could she be mad at him for what she herself had considered doing? Had he done it because he knew she wouldn't? Couldn't? Had he done it because he knew that in her heart of hearts that it was what she wanted to do? Did he really know her soul that well? Xena looked at Ander lying there, dead, gold coins littered the ground. They must have burst out of the pouches when his body hit the dirt. Was it justice? Was it Fate? He'd murdered Rina for gold, broken her neck and left her dead in an outhouse and now here he was killed in a chokehold by the very god who'd given Rina the coin, and left for dead in his own urine, his ill-gotten money scattered about his body. There was a time Xena would have considered this justice, but not any longer. He should have stood trial, been judged by the magistrates of Kamena. But in the back of her head she could hear a little voice telling her that they probably would have let him off. No one in Kamena had seemed that interested in finding Rina's killer to begin with. Was murder the only way to achieve justice in such a situation? Maybe it was. The thought opened an old hole in her soul. She knew it was dishonorable but she left his body laying in the street. She felt a darkness creeping in, taunting her, calling to her in Callisto's shrill screaming laughter. Xena ran as she felt the blackness chasing her. She couldn't let it catch her. She barely registered Gabrielle and Aleta as she blew by them on the trail.

"Xena?" Gabrielle called. By the gods, something was wrong. Something had happened. Something terrible. "Come on," the bard called to Aleta as they both sprinted to catch up with the Warrior Princess.

When they made it back to camp, Gabrielle found Xena bent over some shrubbery, emptying the contents of her stomach. "What could have upset her this much?"

Ares! It had to be Ares, Gabrielle thought. What had he done now? How was she going to fix it? Fix Xena, this time?


	7. Release

Xena and her two companions had spent the last four days traveling up the western coast of Euboea. For once, the warrior was glad that she and Gabrielle had a tag along traveling with them. Aleta had kept the bard engaged in friendly conversation while Xena had passed the days in brooding silence. Xena could tell that Gabrielle enjoyed having someone new to try her stories out on too. It wasn't that Xena didn't recognize her friend's bardic talents, it was just that Xena didn't like hearing herself immortalized in verse and she'd heard the age-old stories of the gods and heroes enough times that they were emblazoned in her brain. Each night as they made camp, Xena laid her bed roll a little farther away from the other two women. While Gabrielle pointed out constellations and told Aleta a related story, Xena tried to think about anything but the gods the other two women chattered about.

No matter how hard Xena tried to relieve her crowded mind, no matter how open the sky, no matter how calm the river they slept beside, Xena's thoughts always meandered their way back to Ares and his latest transgression, killing Ander. When Xena had revealed the news to the two women, Aleta cried in relief, feeling that justice had been served, that her sister's murder had been avenged. Gabrielle had the tact not to voice her opinion on the matter, but Xena could see the disapproval in the blonde's scowl. Xena was still trying to sort out how she felt about the whole matter. She worried that Ares' violence was escalating. It wasn't like him to take matters into his own hands and yet in the space of a month, he'd killed both Arkadios and Ander. Was she having this effect on him? Was the push and pull of their relationship weighing as heavily on him as it did her? Did she make him as murderous as he made her?

Xena brought Argo to a halt and swung her legs over the mare's back. The sun was moving lower on the western horizon. They needed to make camp soon. Xena had hoped that they'd make Chalcis by nightfall but she could tell that wasn't going to happen. They'd lost time at lunch when she and Gabrielle had bickered childishly over who'd misplaced the frying pan. In the end, they had to manufacture makeshift spits to cook their fish. Xena hadn't meant to go off on her friend but ever since the fight with Ares, she'd been on edge. Things felt so unsettled. To his credit, he hadn't shown up again, after he'd murdered Ander. Their day to meet had come and gone and she hadn't seen hide nor curly black hair of him. She'd cried that night. She wasn't proud of it, but she'd let it loose. Thankfully, her bedroll had been far enough away from the other women that they hadn't noticed her choking back her loneliness. How had everything gone so impossibly wrong?

"I'll hunt us up some grub if you can manage to get a fire going." Xena snarked as she grabbed a sling from her saddle bag. She hadn't meant it to sound as biting as it did, but somehow everything just came out bitchy, lately. She knew it was because she had gotten used to working out certain frustrations on a weekly basis. Xena didn't realize how much she'd needed that type of release until she'd started getting it on a regular basis.

Gabrielle took a deep breath! She wasn't about to have a repeat of breakfast so she bit her retort. What was she going to do with Xena? That whole mess with Ares and Ander had really done a number on the warrior. She'd been cranky and overly emotional since she'd come back from Styra with the news. Gabrielle wasn't exactly sure why Ares' actions had had such a devastating effect on her friend. It wasn't as if Xena thought he were incapable of murder! It was Ares, after all. No, something else was going on. Gabrielle looked back at Xena who was checking the latch that held her chakram. A horrific thought crossed Gabrielle's mind. What if it was something like what had happened with Ming T'ien? What if Xena had killed Ander and she'd lied to Gabrielle? Hadn't they come too far for that? Surely, Xena hadn't killed the man! And, if she had, she would tell Gabrielle the truth, wouldn't she? But Ares had certainly shown that held sway over Xena of late. What if he had prodded her she'd killed Ander? Xena had returned to his bed, what if Ander was the baptism back into his way of blood? Gabrielle didn't like that she was doubting her friend, but she didn't know what to make of Xena's current attitude problem, either. "We'll get the firewood and start making spits. Good luck with the hunt."

"Hunting is not about luck, Gabrielle." Xena barked and marched off into the woods.

Xena listened to the woods around her. She welcomed the distraction of the hunt. A task to keep her mind occupied if only for half an hour. The cooing of quail offered promise. Xena scanned the forest floor for small pebbles. The ground here, however, was soft and covered in brown pine needles. Xena reached out with her ears, closing her eyes. Running water nearby. Xena walked toward the sound. As she neared the water, dirt packed ground gave way to gravelly river rock. A clear brook hurried along slicking over slate grey rock. Xena followed the stream's gentle incline. She knew she'd find the waterfall before she turned the last corner of the canyon. It wasn't as high as she'd anticipated but it was fairly wide and created a broad pool of cool fresh water. Xena checked the position of the sun again. She wished she had the power to make Helios stop in his track around the world. But alas, she only held influence over Ares. The birds would be nesting soon. Xena examined the creek bed and picked up a handful of rocks that had been rounded into smooth balls. With a regretful look back at the darkening pool, Xena headed off after her prey. She returned to camp with three fat quail, just as Helios' chariot retired for the evening. Xena was pleased to see that not only had Gabrielle built a serviceable fire but she'd also found time to forage for some fresh greens to go with the poultry. She knew she owed her friend an apology. Maybe after dinner, she and Gabrielle could have a heart to heart.

AXAXAXAXAXAXAXAX

The fire burned low. Xena used the dying light to sharpen the edges of her sword. Gabrielle plopped down next to Xena and rested her head against her friend's strong bicep."You've been working that for an hour. You keep it up, you'll whittle it away." Gabrielle teased. Xena lifted the blade and looked down its length. Without a word, she tossed the sword onto her bedroll. "Wanna talk about it?" Gabrielle asked. Xena cut her eyes toward their young companion. "Ah, I see," Gabrielle said, "let's go for a walk, then, How's that?"

Xena nodded.

"Aleta, Xena and I will be back in a bit, just going for a little stroll. You'll be okay, won't you?" Gabrielle asked.

"Sure," the girl answered though it sounded a little uncertain to Xena.

Gabrielle set the pace as they walked leisurely down the cart path. "What's going on with you?"

"I'm sorry, I know I've been a bitch."

"Well, I wouldn't have said bitch," Gabrielle hedged.

Xena cocked her eyebrow.

"Okay, so you've been a bit bitchy. So, what gives?"

"I didn't do anything, Gabrielle. I just stood there and watched. I could've stopped him with a word. He killed Ander for me, because he thought it was what I wanted."

"Was it?" Gabrielle asked relieved that Xena hadn't done the deed herself.

"No. Yes. Maybe. That's just it, I don't know. I considered doing it myself. How can I be so pissed at him for doing something I contemplated?"

At least Xena still had a harness on her baser instincts. That truth gave Gabrielle hope. "Because you didn't do it! Xena, don't you see? That's the difference. Sure, you had the urge, but ultimately you knew it would have been murder and so you didn't do it."

"Then why did I let him do it?"

"I can't answer that for you, Xena."

The two walked along in companionable silence for a bit. The crescent moon offered scant light on the trail before them.

Finally, Gabrielle broke the calm. "You miss him."

"Yes. I don't want to, but I do."

"He didn't show up for his weekly visit this week. Does that bother you?"

"Yes. I don't know where we go from here. I don't know if there is anywhere to go. I feel like we are on the battlefield and we've reached a stalemate. I can't go back to where I was before and his contempt for humanity keeps him from growing in the way I need him to."

"I see. If he comes back are you going to keep sleeping with him?"

"My mind says no, my body says yes."

"Your heart?"

"I think my heart is already with him."

It stung but Gabrielle tried not to wince. But as any real friend would, Gabrielle championed Xena on. "Why don't you call him? Talk it out? Like you're talking to me? I hate to see you hurting. I hate that he does this to you. And, above all, I wish I could make you forget him but we both know that that is not going to happen. But Xena, if you don't talk to him, things are never going to get better."

"Talking doesn't help with him, Gabrielle. It's not like with you and me. We can agree to disagree. With me and Ares it's like as soon as I close my legs and open my mouth, all Tartarus breaks loose. Sex, we do that well. Talking, not so much."

"If you love him, you have to keep trying. What if I'd given up on you the first time we hit a roadblock?"

"I'd be a murdering harpy again!" Xena sighed.

"Doesn't he deserve the same effort that I've put into you?"

"Fuck, maybe you should have a talk with him!"

"That's not gonna work. He doesn't want to be good for me, Xena. It's you he wants to please."

"And he thinks killing Ander is the kind of thing that pleases me?"

"Didn't it? You said you didn't stop him." Gabrielle wasn't judging but she wasn't letting Xena off the hook for her part in it either.

"Yes, okay, it pleased me and it sickened me at the same time! Maybe I'm the one that's screwed up and not him!"

"Xena, I didn't mean. . . ."

"I know. I'm gonna go for a run. I'll be back later. You can make it back safely, can't you?" And in breath all of the bitchiness that she'd felt earlier came rushing back.

"Tell him I said, hello," Gabrielle smirked and headed back to camp.

Xena shook her head. Despite what Gabrielle thought, she had no intention of calling Ares. She wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of calling his name. No. He was going to have to come to her, Xena thought as she picked up her pace and headed for the waterfall.

AXAXAXAXAXAXAX

Xena hadn't been in the pool long before she felt him move in behind her. His hard, naked thighs pressed hotly against the backs of her own as he wrapped his arms around her belly. She hadn't realized how cold the water had been until she felt the divine heat of him. "You look lonely, Xena," he whispered in her ear before he kissed along the side of her neck down to her shoulder.

"Areeesss,' Xena growled.

"Do you really want me to stop? You're all knotted up. I could help you release some of that tension."

"Areesss," she cried again but leaned back into him. She felt his hand move down into the water in front of her. Her body turned to clay in his masterful hands. Her thighs parted, letting him pet where he wanted.

"So slick for me, even in this water, I can feel your oily wetness, Xena."

"Areeees," she panted, it was the only word she knew.

"This one's for you, Baby, just for you." The water lapped at her breasts while he worked his hot fingers over her. He continued his lingual assault on her ear, neck, and shoulders while his left hand held her tenderly against him. Xena felt her knees start to buckle as she came undone in his arms. "I love you," he whispered with a parting kiss, leaving Xena breathless and boneless in the embrace of the water.

"I love you too," Xena muttered under her breath before she let herself sink fully into the dark water.


End file.
